temp work

i don't mind being a temp. no office politics. no "taking work with you" when you leave. no strings attached. the only thing i don't like about it is that it is utterly boring. i didn't realize how much this mattered, until i realized that out of all of the temp jobs i've had, my favorite one was at the veterans administration hospital in madison. i worked in the file room. every day i came in and attacked stacks and stacks of paper waiting to be put in the right patient file. each day the piles looked the same, as if no one was working at all. but i did. and i loved those files. i wasn't supposed to read the files, but who can help it? they were fascinating, tragic and real.

and, now, in my infinite free time i'm trying to learn how to write song lyrics so i can try out for a rock band. do you think that i'm too old to be in my first rock band at thirty? i don't think so. they will probably pick someone else and then i won't be able to try out. then i'll be left to be in the audience and to imagine myself on stage. and i can't fully imagine myself in either place. maybe that's the problem.