the "c" word

yeah, i've been on a bender. funny thing. i thought it ended on sunday, but seemingly i'm carrying it into this week too. yeah, i just got back from the bar. where i drank, hm, well, gin and tonics. i must really have a problem because i've been working on plenty of short stories but they all feature gin and tonics and lots of smoking as props.

but honestly. since i found out the little pooch (my sweet little mackenzie dog) has cancer, i've been on this bender. i suppose smoking lots of cigarettes when your dog has cancer doesn't really do much good. i mean, it certainly could give me cancer, but i don't think that the u of mn vet hospital could do much for me. hopefully, they'll be able to help my little doggie out.

she has this weird kind of dog cancer that i don't know much about. and though i love the internet in all of its glory, i'm not really interested in researching dog cancer that i, myself, can't cure. i can't do anything. my hands are tied. we have to wait until june 1 to meet with the oncologist and then we will find out just what is at stake. so for now, i'm just drinking heavily and smoking heavily, knowing that neither of those actions will cure my dog, but dammit, they make me feel better. in a weird sort of way.

until tomorrow...