dog day afternoon

today, my dog had surgery. holy crap. i didn't realize how difficult it would be. i mean, when we first got her, we had her fixed and that was surgery and afterwards it was somewhat traumatic, but she was still a puppy. i could pick her up and hold her in my lap. now she's a whopping 72 pounds and holding her on my lap requires her to do as much work as me. and she's recovering from a day of morphine. i can't really even help her up and down the stairs, since i'll be more likely to hurt than help her.

it's amazing how much love i'm feeling for my pooch and how incredibly incompetant i feel because i can't really do much to comfort her. i mean, she can't tell me how much it does or doesn't hurt and she can't ask me for help in english. i keep waiting for her to pipe up with a sentence or two, but so far, only barks and whines. i just wish that i didn't feel so helpless. so i'm going to go curl up next to her and whisper all kinds of happy dog stories in her ear and hope that she feels better really soon.

and then the long two week wait happens. two whole weeks before we know if the lump is nothing or bad. one whole week before the x-rays are definitively examined. at least i can say...i love our vet.