thankful

i'm thankful that this year is almost over. it's not to say that i want to rush through december or anything, but 2004 has been a trying one.

i'm thankful to have such awesome friends and family who've bailed me out all year long and dealt with me in my fragile emotional state.

and i'm thankful that this weekend, we spent three long days moving furniture around. it's like we have a brand new house. amazing what a few changes can do! and we didn't even have to sell it!

i'm mostly thankful that i didn't have to go to the mall once this weekend. early bird bargain shoppers? not me!

Oh to write

i have this image of myself, sitting in a home library (that doesn't exist), writing stories (that don't exist), and words flow endlessly out of my mind and onto paper. tonight, i planned to bring such an image to life. I planned to sit and write to my heart's content. and instead, i looked at my cell phone bill online (which is heartbreaking really), and picked out a computer for my little brothers-in-law for christmas.

i did manage to eek out a few new sentences and to delete plenty of old ones. but it makes me think thati should just give up the dream. but somehow i can't. i think that the combination of internet access and procrastination is the life and death of me. i keep thinking that grad school will help me focus, but somehow, i know that computers will be involved. and i just can't focus when i'm online. distractions are everywhere!

missed a few workouts

not writing is like not working out. at first, you feel guilty. then, you feel good (but secretly know that you really feel bad). then you really feel bad and once that passes, you just feel stuck. i've logged on to blogger at least three times in the last two weeks to say something. to end the silence and i just couldn't do it. it had been so long that it was like the gears were rusty. and without my trusty WD-40, i ended up surfing instead of writing.

i haven't done much. a few trips to chicago, a trip to austin (with more rain than anyone should have to deal with...and even with the rain it was a charming city), plenty of work and several missed creative writing classes.

but last week, when i got to austin, i dragged my ass down to the hotel gym. i didn't want to do it, but i knew that i would spend the entire week drinking (to be able to sleep in a bed without hottie) and of course, one of my new favorite co-workers (from san francisco) and i spent plenty of nights at the bar. so how did i bridge from gym to bar? well, like i said, i started my trip with a run and ended it with a beer (or twenty). and my liver is happy i'm home. as is hottie and the pooch.

so here's to hoping i can get back to blogging. if not, you'll know where to find me.

the ups and downs of an election year

i spent election night in chicago. not by choice, but duty (aka. work) calls. so last night, i checked into my hotel and decided, rather than ordering some so-so room service for a ridiculous price, i'd venture out to see what i could find. i stumbled upon the mambo grill and had the most pleasant evening. see, i wasn't intending to have a wonderful evening. i was incredibly sad to be away from home on election night. it's usually an evening spent cuddling on the couch, watching the polls close, discussing the future of our country. last night, i was stuck away from home and i didn't expect that it would be more than mediocre.

so i find the mambo grill. i sat at the bar, a practice picked up from the bff. and what do you know...the bartender and i had a nice two hour conversation that included politics (of course we were both pro-kerry and pro-obama), history (specifically WWI, Vietnam and a bit of irish history...this was strectching my knowledge, but i think i held my own), religion (he grew up catholic in salt lake city), relationships (i tried not to gloat in my relationship bliss, but i can't really help being happy and i think that gives people hope...not hatred), art (too many museums in Chicago not to talk about art), writing (he writes poetry, i write short stories) and the cute girl who seemed to be hitting on him (she'd come in to pick up her take out order). and of course, i had two mojitos, which were very good. add to that three shots of tequila which we did with the take out girl and i was feeling warm and happy when i walked back across the street to my hotel.

so i pulled out my cell phone to get an update on the election coverage. from the tone of his voice, i knew it wasn't good. and it wasn't. and as quickly as i floated up, i sunk back down.

please let those provisional ballots be good ones. please let some act of god put kerry in the white house. and if not, please don't let george bush continue to run the country as if he has a mandate (from the country or from god). crap!